Chants & Chairs

A word of warning: this is a pretty long post (I know, aren't they all?) so best settle in with a cup of tea :-)

As you could probably tell from my previous post, the unrelenting schedule of ashram life tends to result in one day being quite indistinguishable from the next. Fridays are different because they are "free days", but really the only other excitement for the week (apart from when the boutique restocks its supply of coconut balls) is the Saturday night talent show.

Those who know me well are fully aware of how much I love the sound of my own voice, so it should come as little surprise that I was unable to resist the lure of the microphone on talent show night.

To set the scene, by Saturday morning the number of people who had signed up to perform at the show was zero. This lead the Ashram director to declare that if there was no talent show he would be forced to give us a long boring lecture instead. This was how I decided that maybe I should spend my precious few hours of free time knocking up a chant about how I was coping with ashram life.

I performed the chant below on my first Saturday night and it detailed how I felt on my second day at the ashram. It was performed in a call and response style so everyone had to join in.

Ashram Life

By Bernadette Wilson

A chant to the tune of the daily chant at the Sivananda Vedanta Ashram at Neyyar Dam Kerala.

1. Bell rings, wake Enjoy satsang in the dark. Bell rings, wake Enjoy satsang in the dark. 2.Sit & meditate, chant & pray My legs have gone numb. Sit & meditate, chant & pray My legs have gone numb. 3.Oh when is tea time? When is tea time?! Why didn’t I eat more At dinner last night? 4. Prayana, asana, Get your body to move. Prayana, asana, Get your body to move. 5. The only pose I’m good at Is savanasa. The only pose I’m good at Is savanasa. (NB* Savanasa is the "corpse pose". You just lie on your mat like you are dead :-) 6. Who knew it was possible To sweat this much?! Who knew it was possible To sweat this much?! 7. Cross-legged eating Use your right hand. Cross-legged eating Use your right hand. 8. Oh no! They’ve run out Of sweet delicious rice. There’s never enough Of that sweet delicious rice. 9. Oh joy! Joy! Joy! Now we have free time. Oh joy! Joy! Joy! Now we have free time. 10. Library, internet, boutique, Or health hut? Library, internet, boutique, Or health hut? 11.Tea time by the tree, The best part of the day! Tea time by the tree, The best part of the day! 12. The lecture would be better If my legs weren’t so numb. The lecture would be better If my legs weren’t so numb. 13. Afternoon yoga, Practice, practice! Afternoon yoga, Practice, practice! 14. Why can’t mosquitoes Be vegetarian?! Why can’t mosquitoes Be vegetarian?! 15. It’s hard to “just relax” Getting eaten alive. It’s hard to “just relax” Getting eaten alive. 16. Cold shower, feel clean For about an hour. Cold shower, feel clean For about an hour. 17. Dinner, remember 16 Hours til the next meal. Dinner, remember 16 Hours til the next meal. 18. Oh joy! Joy! Joy! Evening free time.  Joy! Joy! Joy! Evening free time. 19. Library, internet, boutique, Or health hut? Library, internet, boutique, Or health hut? 20. (Slow)  Evening satsang, Time to contemplate. Evening satsang, Time to contemplate. 21. I am devoted, Devoted to chairs. I am devoted, Devoted to chairs. 22. Chair! Chair! Chair! My kingdom for a chair! Chair! Chair! Chair! My kingdom for a chair! 23. Sivananda, Sivananda, Sivananda! Sivananda, Sivananda, Sivananda! 24. Ashram life is good, Once you get used to it. Ashram life is good, Once you get used to it. 25. But I’m in pain! I’m in pain! Pain absolute, Pain I am. 26. (slow) When the pain is gone I’ll feel bliss absolute. Bliss, bliss, bliss, Bliss absolute.

The chant went over very well with the audience. So well in fact that for days afterwards people were approaching me to tell me how much they liked the chant and to ask for a copy of the words. 

I think there were three reasons why the chant was so well received. Firstly, the audience was relieved someone did something for the talent show so that they were off the hook. Secondly, they identified all too well with the themes of the chant. And, finally, people at an ashram are so full of love that you will never find a more supportive audience!

I performed the chant again on my second Saturday night at the ashram and added the verses below:

27. Week 2 at the ashram
and things are looking up.
Week 2 at the ashram
and things are looking up.

28. Serving brunch has improved
my forward bend.
Serving brunch has improved 

my forward bend.

29. My abs are stronger
I can even do a shoulder stand.
My abs are stronger
I can even do a shoulder stand.

30. I am devoted
Devoted to oil massage!
I am devoted
Devoted to oil massage!

31. The only thing better,
Is the hot shower afterwards.
The only thing better,

Is the hot shower afterwards.

32. Krishna got married
and we had a big feast.
Krishna got married
and we had a big feast.

33. When you want help with romance
you don't think of an ashram.

When you want help with romance

you don't think of an ashram.

34. But my cloth got blessed,
Now Krishna's finding me a husband!
But my cloth got blessed,
Now Krishna's finding me a husband!

35. We saw films about
Vishu - Devananda.
We saw films about
Vishu - Devananda.

(NB* Swami Vishnu - Devananda brought Swami Sivananda's teachings to the west and established many ashrams around the world)

36. I loved seeing his peace plane
and him in a hammock.
I loved seeing his peace plane
and him in a hammock.

37. Ashram life is good
When you actively participate.
Ashram life is good
When you actively participate.

38. Surrender to the schedule
and pick up a tambourine!
Surrender to the schedule
and pick up a tambourine!

39. (Slow) Sivananda ashram
Thanks for all you've given me.
Sivananda ashram
Thanks for all you've given me.

40. (Slow) Mindfulness, community
and an addiction to coconut balls.
Mindfulness, community
and an addiction to coconut balls.

The new verses to the chant were well received, though the audience vibe was very different to the first week. Two hundred people had arrived at the ashram on that day, for the month long teacher training course, and they were definitely more subdued than the yoga vacation crowd. 

Writing and performing the chant was a hugely positive experience for me. Not only did it allow me an outlet for my emotions, but it really helped to connect me to the ashram community.

Ashram Agony

I never considered myself to be the type of person who would stay in an ashram. 


The very word "ashram"conjured up a group of associations in my mind that I had zero desire to align myself with. I imagined an isolated location, lots of prayers, and people handing over their sanity - along with their bank balances - to gurus of questionable authority. I imagined people hallucinating on LSD and declaring that they had "found themselves". People who went to ashrams, I unfairly imagined, were blind followers. And though my eyesight may be poor, I have never considered myself to be a blind follower.


So how on earth did I just end up spending two weeks at the Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Dhanwantari Ashram at Neyyar Dam in Kerala?


Well, the seed was planted by a lovely English traveler called Rosie who I met in Beirut, Lebanon in April. When she heard I was planning to visit Kerala later in the year, she insisted that I visit the ashram at Neyyar Dam. I was so resistant to the notion, that I didn't even fully listen to her as she raved about delicious vegetarian food, cheap accommodation and great yoga lessons. I even recall trying to politely rebuff her good intentions by saying, "it sounds great, but an ashram's not really my style".


Rosie could tell I was not buying and the conversation moved on. When she left the dorm a few days later however, she left a note with the details of the ashram under my pillow. The note said something to the effect of, "just look it up on the internet before you dismiss it". A big thank you to Rosie, because without her persistence I certainly wouldn't have just spent two weeks improving my health and quietening my mind.


For those of you who are interested here is the link to the ashram:
http://www.sivananda.org/neyyardam/default.htm


I decided that, as I wanted to get healthier, the yoga vacation program would be a good place to start. The ashram had a minimum stay requirement of three days and I kept repeating that as my mantra in the weeks leading up to my arrival. My thinking was, even if it is horrible I only have to stay three days - so how bad could it be?


I knew that my body was not ready for twice daily yoga classes, so while in Sydney I started attending yoga classes a few times a weeks to prepare. I started telling family and friends about this yoga retreat so that they would hold me accountable if I backed out at the last moment. I needed that push because everything about staying at the ashram terrified me.


Ashram life was not just "out of my comfort zone". Ashram life was at least a twenty hour flight away from comfort zone! I was definitely most afraid of the physical pain that would result from 4 hours of yoga a day, but really everything from the twice daily meditation sessions to the fact that they only served two meals a day freaked me out.


Anyway, on the 31st of October I finally sucked up my courage and took a taxi from Trivandrum to the ashram. The superb setting of the ashram, amid 12 acres of tropical forest with cool green coconut tree groves, a nearby lake and colourful flower-filled views, did much to alleviate my anxiety. Within a few hours I was swept up in the daily schedule of ashram life which I have detailed below:


5:20am - Wake up bell


6:00am - Morning Satsang (30 min silent meditation, 40 min chanting, 10min talk on a spiritual theme and 10 minutes of prayers).


7:30am - Tea 


8:00am - Asana (yoga) class for 2 hours


10:00am - Brunch (this was also my karma yoga duty  - like a daily chore - while at the ashram. So I left yoga at 9:50 to set up mats/trays/ cups in the dining hall. I then went around serving food. Following that, I ate for 10 min and then I had to clean up, sweep the hall, mop the hall, empty bins etc. The whole process went until 11:15)


11:15am - Free time


1:30pm - Tea & snack


2:00pm - Lecture on one of the five points of yoga for 1 and a half hours (Proper exercise, proper breathing, proper diet, proper relaxation & positive thinking/meditation)


3:30pm - Asana (yoga) class for 2 hours


6:00pm - Dinner


6:30pm - Free time


8:00pm - Evening Satsang (30 min silent meditation, 40 min chanting, 10min talk on a spiritual theme and 10 minutes of prayers).


9:30pm - Free time


10:30pm - Lights out


Predictably, by day two I was in sheer agony. 


Every muscle, tendon, atom of my body hurt. Though the yoga classes were the main culprit, it was actually all the sitting cross legged that I found the most unbearable. By the time you add satsangs, lectures, meals to the portions of the yoga lessons that we spent cross legged -  I was averaging about 5 and a half hours of cross legged action each day.  


My course started on a Tuesday and I was just willing myself to get to Friday, because Fridays at the ashram are "free days". This means on Fridays you only have to attend morning and evening satsangs. Most people use this opportunity to leave the ashram on lovely day trips to the nearby beaches of Kovalam or Varkala. I was planning on using my "free day" to lie flat on my back sleeping or sitting on a chair reading. But, the universe had other plans and I spent most of my "free day" in the bathroom with a lovely case of traveler's diarrhea.


Still, I soldiered on and when I awoke on day five to only moderate pain - I knew things were on the up. By day 6, I was almost pain free and able to start appreciating the benefits that ashram life was delivering to me. 


There was noticeable improvement in my strength and flexibility during yoga practice, my mind was calmer and I was actually looking forward to meditation sessions. The biggest change, however, was that I had got to know a number of my fellow yoga vacationers and I began to feel a real sense of community. Just like soldiers  who are forever bonded by their experiences on the battlefield, I think that the yoga vacationers who stayed beyond the pain of the first week also forged life-long bonds. No one else will ever fully understand the joy of finally mastering the plough posture nor our new found appreciation for chairs, hot water or coconut balls. 


Another part of ashram life I found surprisingly enjoyable was the chanting. Though I often didn't understand what we were chanting about, I definitely appreciated the positive vibrations of the Sanskrit words as well as the amazing sense of community you feel when a hundred people are chanting together in unison. I enjoyed the chanting so much that by the second week I was frequently picking up a tambourine. I even wrote a humorous chant about ashram life for the Saturday night talent show. The words to that chant will form the next post.


That's it for now. 


Om tat sat. Om, shanti, shanti, shanti....

Coils, Culture & Comics

Its tropical climate ensures that one thing Fort Cochin is not short of, apart from excellent eateries, are mosquitoes. Despite religiously coating what little skin I was not covering with clothing in DEET each day, I still found myself being bitten with alarming frequency. My main concern with mosquito bites is not the annoying itch but rather the chance that a bite could result in malaria (night time mosquitoes) or dengue fever (daytime mosquitoes).

As I am not taking any medication to prevent the contraction of malaria, I am particularly paranoid about mosquito bites. As an added incentive not to get bitten, my skin sometimes completely overreacts to insect bites. This overreaction leaves me with small raised scars that look suspiciously like, but according to skin specialists are not, skin cancers (attractive I know!). I still have one of these beauties on my forearm from a mosquito bite I got on my last visit to India nine years ago.

The one exposed area of skin that I was not covering with DEET each night was the sensitive skin on my face. One night last week I paid the price for this decision when I woke up after being bitten on the cheek and forehead. At first I thought it wasn't that bad. The bites felt really big - but I was sure it was just like when you have a pimple that feels like it is enormous but when you look in the mirror is actually quite small. As the itching sensation spread however, I gave up trying to fall back to sleep and decided to view the damage in the bathroom mirror.

Well, to say the bites were big is a bit like saying Greece has some debt. Not only were these the biggest mosquito bites I had ever had, but my face was bearing a stronger resemblance to that of the elephant man with each passing moment! How big were the bites? The bite in the middle of my forehead was as least as big as a 20 cent piece and the one on my cheek was larger than a 50 cent piece.

How ballsy was this mosquito?! It must have feasted on my sleeping visage for an hour to suck that much blood! I hastily looked around the bed trying to find the blood sucking spawn of Satan, convinced it would be easy to spot flying low under the burdensome weight of 10% of my blood supply. Just as I gave up the futile search, I realised that in addition to a painful itch my night time visitor may well have given me malaria. But maybe not....Maybe I would get lucky and just be left with scarring that looked like skin cancer covering half of my face. Thankfully the lasting legacy of that evening was not malaria, or disfiguring facial scars, but rather a whole new appreciation for mosquito coils!

After spending more than a week in Fort Cochin, and getting through a new book about every two days, I decided it was high time I engaged in an activity besides eating or reading. To that end I set off on a lovely day trip through the stunning backwaters of Kerala.

Sitting in a long canoe as you silently glide through the tiny canals of Kerala is one of the most peaceful experiences you can have. The lush greenery provides welcome shade and lets you focus on the natural beauty of lotus flowers, multi-hued dragonflies, iguanas, birds and river snakes all around you. The trip had a bit of a school excursion feel to it, so naturally I felt right at home, as we disembarked from time to time to learn how the locals made ropes and baskets from coconut husks as well as to see how the different spices are grown.

I actually took a half day backwater tour when I was last in Kerala and it was interesting to note how the area has changed over the last nine years. There is definitely more development along the canals now, we even passed a new guesthouse with a large banner advertising its rooms stretched across the canal, but for the most part little in this beautiful part of the world has changed since my last visit. I even had the exact same older gentleman guiding my canoe through the canals as the last time I visited! The man in question seemed pleased when I pointed out that guiding canoes full of foreigners through the water with a long bamboo pole must be good for your health, as he did not look a day older than when I last saw him.

In addition to taking in the local scenery I thought I should sample some Keralan culture while I was in the region. Last time I visited Kochi I took in a Kathakali performance so this time I opted to see some classical dance instead. The female dancers were stunningly beautiful with their shimmering costumes and dramatic eye make up. Seeing the elaborate hand gestures and facial expressions that occur while the dancer is also moving vigorously around the stage gave me a whole new appreciation for this lovely art form. With every hand gesture and eye movement having a different meaning, the physical control required by the dancers is truly astounding. No wonder they have to study for up to ten years to perfect their art! 

Given that Fort Cochin is blessed with one of the best bookstores in India, in the form of the wonderful Idiom Bookshop, I thought that I should take the opportunity to read up on Hindu mythology and Indian history. With more than 300 million deities making up the Hindu pantheon, it was important that I found reading material of a depth and gravitas befitting a scholar of my intellect. Fortunately, Idiom was able to cater to my needs perfectly with its extensive range of Indian comic books! Never have the adventures of Krishna or the tales of Ganesh been so colourfully portrayed, or easy to digest. I even found a comic detailing the British massacre at Jallianwala Bagh, with appropriately gory artwork.

One of the religious comics emphasised the true power of friendship by detailing the story of Sudama, a childhood friend of Krishna. Overall the story had a lovely message, but I was slightly concerned about the depiction of Sudama's lovely wife. The story outlines how she "patiently bore" their life of poverty because she "looked upon Saduma as her god". This part of the story is illustrated with a picture of Sudama staring thoughtfully into the distance while his wife bows at his feet.

Well at least now, with my new found understanding of Indian culture, I'll have a good answer the next time some well meaning local asks me on a train trip why I am not married. I'll just smile and say, "Unfortunately I have not yet met a man I can look upon as my god" :-)

You are the walking girl, yes?

If you ever want proof that different states in India are like different countries, each with their own unique landscapes, culture and language, all you need to do is board a flight from Delhi to Kochi in Kerala.

After disembarking from the plane, I was met in Kochi by clear skies, lush greenery and an astounding lack of hassle. Imagine a pre-paid taxi service that involves no shouting or shoving! You simply go to the counter in the airport, pay the fee and take your receipt to the taxi with the corresponding numberplate to your ticket. Amazing!

After frantic sight seeing in Delhi and Agra, I decided I wanted to just stay put and chill out somewhere nice for a couple of weeks. I certainly picked the right location in Fort Cochin. I really enjoyed the few days I spent in Fort Cochin nine years ago, but the area is even more traveler friendly now. Fort Cochin sits at the top of a peninsula, about a 30 minute drive from the heart of the city in Kochi. Its somewhat isolated location, colonial buildings, beautiful churches and lovely tree-lined streets combine to make Fort Cochin a gorgeous oasis of calm.

My cheap room at the Princess Inn (Rs 400, or $8 per night) meant that over the last two weeks in Fort Cochin I have had no problem staying within my daily budget whilst still managing to extensively sample the outstanding local cuisine. Usually when travelling, most places you eat are OK and you may find one really great place in a particular location. It is, however, rare to find restaurants or stalls offering the holy trifecta of great food, great value and great atmosphere. The latter is particularly valuable to me as I prefer to linger after my meal reading for a few hours. Well Fort Cochin has not one, but four different establishments that fulfill the trifecta! : Kashi Art Cafe, Teapot, Shala and Dal Roti.

Kashi is a gallery/cafe with excellent westernised breakfasts, lunches, outstanding coffee and the best Chai Masala I have had in my life. A typical Kashi meal for me: French toast (two slices of home baked brown bread french toast topped with wild honey and coupled with a huge plate of sliced tropical fruits) and a cold coffee (tall glass of expresso over ice with a side jug of milk and pot of sugar syrup that you add to the glass).

Teapot is a lovely themed cafe catering to western tastes. Tables are made from modified tea chests, clusters of teacups dangle over doorways and the walls are filled with shelves overflowing with teapots. Apart from an amazing array of teas, teapot also does a scrumptious cheese and chicken omelet as well as a pretty decent chocolate cake.

I know people always go on and on about how good South Indian food is, but to be honest I never understood why. I now realise that the problem was that up until this trip, I had never had good South Indian food.

Shala is run by the same people as Kashi and it shows. This restaurant however, is only open for dinner and serves delicious Keralan cuisine prepared by local women. The vegetarian special changes each night and may feature: A beautifully spiced black bean curry accompanied, thali style, by small side dishes of hot pickle, dhal, shredded vegetables and red rice. The heat of the vegetable special is perfectly offset by the cucumber mint lemon cooler drink on offer  - which is even more refreshing than it sounds.

If you want an indication of how good Dal Roti is, you just need to look at the queue out the front. Its dinner service starts at 6:30pm and there are always at least 4 groups of people waiting to get a table by 6:40. With a large menu of delicious Northern Indian influenced cuisine, generous servings, a menu containing a helpful glossary and an extremely friendly owner, Dal Roti lives up to its excellent reputation. The night rush makes me feel guilty about lingering over my kindle so I prefer to visit Dal Roti for lunch. My lunch of choice? A paneer & mixed vegetable kati roll (a fried flat bread wrapped around fried, spiced cheese and sweetly spiced vegetables) accompanied by a ginger lime soda. Mmmm.....I have eaten and discussed books with the owner of Dal Roti so many times on this trip that he gave me my last meal for free. Now that's customer service!

To offset this non stop eating, I have been going for daily walks and occasionally engaging in some yoga-like stretching. My daily 6 am walk is when I most feel like a local in Fort Cochin. Why the ungodly hour of 6 am? Well Fort Cochin is many things, but bearable when you are more than 2 metres away from a fan during daylight hours is not one of them. On my first afternoon in this leafy neck of the woods, I nearly gave myself heat stroke by exploring the local streets on foot for two hours. Returning to the hotel drenched in sweat, and with alarmingly swollen hands, I knew I would have to plan any future exercise at a cooler time of day.

My daily morning stroll takes me along the waterfront, past the fishmongers and the outstretched wooden arms of the enormous Chinese fishing nets, hovering above the low tide like giant praying mantises. The tree-lined footpath is full of other early bird walkers and locals who like to do their yoga stretches with a view. South Indian people are far more reserved that their northern countrymen, and it took a week before the familiar morning faces started to say hello to me as I walked past.

Twenty minutes into my walk I run out of waterfront and head inland. This part of the stroll takes me past the naval yards and down back streets where women smile at me as they collect water from the local pump. The last stretch of my morning amble takes me past the local sports field, which usually contains at least three of the following: men playing cricket, boys having soccer training, friends playing badminton and goats grazing on the few remaining tufts of grass surrounding the field.

In two weeks I have yet to see another foreigner on my morning walk and I think this may have contributed to my own local celebrity. Over the last week several of my interactions with shopkeepers have begun with, "You are the walking girl, yes?". Well...I've been called worse.

привет Russia!

Firstly I'd like to apologise if the foreign characters in the title of  this post mean anything other than "hello" in Russian. As my own mastery of the Russian language is limited to vodka, I've had to lean heavily on google translate (and just between us - he isn't always up to the task).

Why am I attempting to greet my audience in Russian? Well you may not know this, but the blogger set up has a stats area where I can see how many people have viewed my blog in a given day, week or month. It also has an audience function where I can see the countries from which people have viewed my blog.

Naturally enough, most of the page views I get are from Australia. I also get some page views from New Zealand, the UK and Germany but that is not hugely surprising to me as I have friends and family members in those countries. What is surprising to me is when I suddenly get page views from countries where I don't know anyone. Then I start to ponder how these people came across my blog. It is possible these people are travelers I have met this year who have gone on to visit other countries. It is also possible that these people are Harry Potter fans that I met at Leaky Con.

However, to my knowledge, I have not met any Russians in my travels this year. So I am curious. Who are you Russian reader? Thank you for taking an interest in my blog and, if you are so inclined, please leave a comment explaining how you came across my ramblings. I'm dying of curiosity here. Also, if there are other readers of this blog from countries I did not mention earlier, I'd love to hear about how you stumbled onto my little corner of the web.

A teardrop on the cheek of eternity

My decision nine years ago, to not visit the Taj Mahal during three months spent in India, is one that some people have found difficult to understand. My mistake last time was planning to see the Taj near the end of my time in India. As the end of that trip grew nearer, two factors played into my decision to avoid Agra. Firstly, I did not have the energy left to face the inevitable hassle that would go with visiting one of the most popular tourist destinations on the planet. Secondly, I knew by then that I would definitely be coming back to India again in the future.

Making my way out of Agra Cantonment train station last week, I realised that even I (an experienced traveller of the sub continent) had not fully anticipated just how insane the welcome at Agra was going to be. In the already crowded station, hundreds of men swarmed on all the foreigners, shouting in our faces, pushing,  shoving us towards waiting taxis. Even my silent death stare, coupled with a purposeful stride towards the pre-paid taxi stand, did little to put off the persistent touts who stuck to my side like white on rice.

If anything the screaming, shouting and shoving actually got worse in front of the pre-paid taxi stand and as the crowd reached a new crescendo the utter absurdity of the situation hit me and I started to laugh hysterically. A french woman near me, whom I suspect thought I was mad, looked like she was going to have stroke while waiting for her nearby husband to negotiate a ride to town. I tried to distract her from the scene by asking her how long she had been in India and then understood her terrified look when she responded "Today is the first day".

My first view of the majestic Taj came at sunset on that first day. I ascended several staircases to a roof top restaurant, and literally gasped when I saw the stunning view of the marble monument captured in the pinkish glow of the afternoon light. If you have seen the movie Aladdin, you may remember the scene when Aladdin takes Jasmine up to his makeshift home on the rooftop, pulls back a sheet and reveals a stunning view across the dilapidated rooftops of the city to the glorious palace. My first view of the Taj Mahal reminded me a lot of that scene. The monument is completely mesmerising, especially in the rapidly changing twilight, and I was shocked to discover after I finished my chai masala that I had been staring at the gorgeous view for nearly an hour.

From the vantage point of the roof top restaurant, it soon became obvious that the local wildlife almost matched the number of tourists in Agra. Hundreds of monkeys, or as I have come to think of them disease spreading beasts of satan, scurried from roof to roof scavenging scraps from the abundant waste in the area. The tiny alleys surrounding the Taj Mahal are also home to hundreds of emaciated, snarling stray dogs which made the "focused walking" required to get back to my hotel just that bit more challenging.

I must say that Agra is the first place in India where I have really been struck by the appalling poverty that many in this great nation have to endure. There is immense poverty all around India and to be honest it has never really affected me before. I don't know why the dire living conditions appalled me so much in Agra, perhaps it was the striking juxtaposition of the opulence of the Taj and the revolting open sewers of the surrounding streets...

My second day in Agra started early as I went to visit the Taj Mahal in the dawn light. It was pleasing to see that the Indian Archeological Society is putting the large foreigner entry fee (about $15) to good use, as the entire Taj Mahal complex is beautifully maintained. In some ways, walking through the stunning ornamental gardens towards the Taj felt like returning to a place I had visited many times before. You see so many photos of the gorgeous marble structure, surrounded by perfectly symmetrical gardens and watercourses, that at first you think there is little to surprise you. It is only once you get up close that the astoundingly detailed craftsmanship reveals itself.

In photographs the Taj often appears as a solid white block of a building. Up close, however, you can see the individual pearly grey swirls that differentiate each marble brick from its neighbours. Similarly you need to see the intricately carved marble screens, the calligraphic quotations from the Quran made with inlaid jasper and the amazingly detailed pietra dura (flower designs inlaid in the marble with semi precious stones) of the main chamber to fully appreciate that over 20,000 craftsmen from all over India were involved in creating the most beautiful building on earth.

The symmetry of the design is also hugely impressive as the four faces of the Taj are perfectly identical. Every tree and shrub on the west side of the ornamental garden is mirrored on the east side and the beautiful red sandstone mosque on the west side of the Taj is matched by an identical structure on the east side that exists solely to balance the symmetry of the complex.

The Taj Mahal was built on the banks of the Yamuna River by Shah Jahan in the middle of the 17th century. Built as a memorial to his third wife, Mumtaz Mahal, the emperor said it made 'the sun and moon shed tears from their eyes'. Given that Mumtaz Mahal died giving birth to the couple's 14th child, I personally think that building a monument described by Rabindranath Tagore as 'a teardrop on the cheek of eternity' was the least the emperor could do to honor his late wife.

A surprising highlight of my time in Agra was visiting the magnificent ancient fortified city of Fatehpur Sikri which lies 40km west of Agra. Overlooked my many tourists who just do a day trip to the Taj, the red sandstone city of Fatehpur Sikri was built by the Emperor Akbar in the 16th century and is a World Heritage site in its own right. The city with its three palaces and gob-smakingly beautiful Jama Masjid mosque is still in near perfect condition as the ancient city was abandoned not due to earthquakes, but rather lack of water in the local region. The immense mosque, with its stunning 54m high Buland Darwaza (victory gate), is now on par with the Umayyad  Mosque in Damascus for the title of "most awe inspiring place of worship" I have ever seen.

As it turned out, the ancient architecture on offer more than made up for the hassles and sanitation (or rather lack there of) in Agra. With the one item on my "must see" list for this trip to India officially ticked off, I was happily looking forward to a less frantic environment down south.

Who is the fairest of them all?

When I stepped out of the terminal at the Indira Ghandi airport a few days ago, there was no mistaking where in the world I was. The warm heavy air that cloaked me, making it an effort to even sweat, was full of the scents of incense and sewerage as well as the sounds of drumming, chanting and the shouting of taxi drivers. Welcome to India!

I always treat myself to a nice hotel when I first arrive in a country, and Wood Castle was indeed a lovely oasis of air conditioned tranquility in the midst of Delhi mayhem. The staff were so considerate that it didn't take me long to forget the predictably frustrating taxi ride that I had taken through the dark backstreets of Delhi to get there. It is good to know that withholding payment until you see the sign of your chosen hotel, coupled with suggestions that we ask the local police for directions when the driver takes you to several different hotels claiming he can't find your chosen hotel, still seems to be an effective tactic nine years after my first visit to India.

My first task in Delhi was to head across town to the Khan Market to purchase some locally appropriate attire. I was not looking forward to the inevitable hassle of negotiating an auto-rickshaw ride to get there but luckily for me Delhi has invested in some excellent new public transport since I was last in town.

Ode to Delhi Metro

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thy easy to follow network map.
My soul soars at thy set, fair prices (30 rupees, 80 cents, to get right across Delhi and back)
I love the efficiency of thy service
Which arrives every few minutes.
My old griefs, with groping men,
Are long forgotten in the face of thy
Glorious air conditioned women only carriages!
Oh Delhi Metro
Thou dost bring a smile to this traveler's heart.


I felt much more comfortable, in both a temperature and cultural sense, when I donned my newly purchased salwar kameez from the lovely Anokhi store (thanks for the tip Beck). Now, appropriately attired, I felt ready to tackle Delhi's Old City for a spot of sight seeing.

Wandering around the lovely gardens surrounding the Red Fort, I had the opportunity to practise both my deflecting attention and wildlife spotting skills. The gardens were full of equal numbers of birds, scurrying squirrels and overly friendly males and it wasn't long before I headed off to the Museum of India's Struggle for Independence to brush up on my history.

On my walk through Chadni Chowk, past the stunning Jama Masjid Mosque, on my way to Karim's (thanks for the excellent restaurant tip Kate & Vas!) I got to practise another skill essential for survival in India. I like to call it 'Focused Walking'. The frantic, crowded and chaotic streets around Chadni Chowk are no place for a gentle stroll listening to your ipod. I know what you're thinking: "It's just walking down the street. Stick to the footpath, how hard can it be?".

Well, firstly there often is no footpath (or if there is, it is usually blocked by stacked merchandise, or street carts spitting hot oil as their owners fry some local delicacy). You try to hug the kerb, but you don't want to get too close lest you accidentally step in the open sewer that is the gutter. So you are walking on the road amid other pedestrians, cows, auto rickshaws, trucks, cars, and (most dangerous of all) cycle rickshaws.

Much of your attention is spent checking how close cycle wheels are to your right leg. A cycle wheel narrowly missing your right leg it is not actually a cause for celebration. This is because it means you are probably about to be clipped by the, much wider, back wheel and carriage of a cycle rickshaw. Your usual reliance on sound as a cue for approaching vehicles is also next to useless as every driver eases their passage through the congestion my keeping their hand on the horn.

The obstacles to a safe journey that I have outlined above are those faced by all pedestrians in India's crowded cities. But as a foreigner, there are some extra ingredients added to the chaotic mix. You have eager salespeople stepping in front of you, desperately trying to sell you their wares: "Madam! Postcard? You like jewelry? Very cheap! Just look". You have overly friendly staring males trying to "accidentally" bump into you. And, most annoyingly of all, you have rickshaw drivers nearly running you over: "Madam! Where are you going? Metro station? It is very far. My rickshaw very cheap!"

You can see why I call it "Focused Walking". Whilst it is certainly more draining than a stroll around the block in Sydney (you often feel exhausted after moving just a few hundred metres) the trick is to actually try to relax.   If you are too cautious, stopping all the time, you are much more likely to get into trouble than if you concentrate but just try to go with the flow and keep moving. Though it certainly doesn't seem like it at first sight, Indian drivers are quite adept at weaving around moving targets. Stopping is much more hazardous as the drivers don't know where you are going next.

After all of that "Focused Walking" I felt I had earned the luxury of a room service meal in front of the TV in my air conditioned room that night. In my nine year absence from the country I had forgotten about India's (or a certain section of India's) obsession with skin lightening creams. Every second ad on TV was for some skin whitening lotion or another, but there was one particular ad that absolutely stopped me in my tracks.

It showed a young woman being embarrassed and trying to cover up her armpit as she held onto the over head rail on a busy train. Just when I thought it was a regular deodorant ad, the voice over said "Would you like your under arms to be fairer?". Yes, that's right, they are selling roll on deodorant with a whitening agent! Well this was very good news for me. Because if the true mark of beauty in India is now fair under arms, then surely my lily white armpits must make me the most beautiful woman in the land!